I grew up with two hard-working parents. I didn't have a stay-at-home mom or dad. So, when I grew up I always saw myself working full-time too. I wasn't really sure if I would even become a parent, but sure enough, God blessed me with a daughter and three years later a son.

When Ryan and I were planning on starting a family our hearts became aligned for me to stay at home with Elle, and also work part-time from home. Thank you, Internet! I never felt comfortable completely giving up a job. Maybe it was because my mom had engrained in me to never, ever stop working just in case something happened to Ryan. (Boy, am I sure glad she did that...but I digress...) So, I made a way to do both, but I what I didn't know was that I was setting myself up for failure because I didn't have any clue about boundaries or what to expect.

I had no idea how hard it was to be a stay at home mom. Oh my goodness is it soooooo hard. It's one of the hardest jobs on the planet. HANDS DOWN! And I can say that because I have done it ALL. Worked full-time, stayed at home, and now being a single parent working full-time and parenting alone...Hands down, being a stay at home mom is harder than any desk job, in my opinion. And being a stay at home mom while running a business....Well, my friends, that's working two full-time jobs truthfully. 

The reason why it's harder than a desk job is because you are constantly pouring yourself out without any encouragement from a colleague, zero payment from a boss and hardly any breaks. Heck, I still don't go to the bathroom alone unless I'm at my desk job! When you are home with a baby constantly breastfeeding and changing diapers, while a three year old is repetitively asking for snacks and for you to play...And then you finally get the toddler down and the baby is still awake....Oh my goooshhh...Never ending, exhausting job that is soooo worth it in the long run, but then you have all of the other housework to do and you barely have two hands to do it....I mean, those "I love you, Mommy's" and sticky jelly kisses are worth more than gold, but it doesn't put the fuel back in the tank. While desk jobs can easily affirm you and give you a pep in your step as you cross things off your list, make people happy and can see it on their faces, and get paid.


I have a lot of friends that are stay-at-home moms looking to work a side gig to bring in some cash and here is what I will tell you so that you can learn from my mistakes:

1. Make sure you know why you are wanting to stay at home, and make sure your partner sees the value too. Maybe even agree together to assign what that numerical value is of being a SAHM. That way it's not EVER looked as FREE and you both see your role as important.

2. Make sure you clearly define your SAHM hours and your team parenting hours. You can't just hand-off your kids for the whole night to your partner when they get home, but you may need that one hour break you would normally get for lunch at your desk job when they get home. (Some days kids don't take naps and there ZERO breaks).

3. Make sure you define the reason why you are keeping a part-time job. Is it really for the money or are you doing it for job security or are you doing it to help your mind sharp. Whatever it is make sure you define the why.

4. If you are going to work from home, set your office hours and stick to them, so that your spouse knows when you are working.

5. Since SAHM's or SAHD's don't get reviews or bonuses, make sure your partner knows when you are feeling unappreciated, discouraged or kicking ass. Have them help you celebrate wins and grieve losses. You might also want to join MOPS or mom clubs to other moms can cheer you on. 

6. Don't ever say you don't work! You are working and providing a lot of value to your family by raising your children. Put it one your resume on LinkedIn. I sure did! It's called the "pregnancy pause." https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandra-evjen/ Just because I was home with Elle doesn't mean I wasn't learning and gaining skills that can be applied to a team office environment. I learned to nurture, to discipline, to multitask, to be comfortable with looooong hours, etc. 

7. Remember that even though your job is hard it's the most rewarding. I wish I could go back to being with my kids more. It's such a short time in their lives before they go to school, and I wish I got to do that more for Levi. 

Now, full-time working moms...I know you might be mad at me right now for saying this, and that's okay. I'm a full-time working single mom, and this is just my opinion now that I have been able to compare and contrast different seasons and roles. I'd love to hear your thoughts too. Please share!



Raise your hand if you get overwhelmed walking into Sephora...I sure do. I'm a gal that loves to play with makeup, but with so many choices and colors and formulas, it's a gamble on which one is the most flattering and best buy. My dear friend Lindsey Bouffard is a celebrity makeup artist, and found that her clients were just as frustrated with the buying process too. She also found that many of them had no idea what to do once they got an eyeshadow palette. 


Lindsey decided to create a no-brainer approach to eyeshadow application with Flekk Cosmetics. It's basically paint by numbers for your eyes. GENIUS! Each color has a number and coordinates to a brush with the same number. She even tells you which colors would look best for everyday wear and gives you a couple combinations for glam eyes.


All of the eyeshadows that come in the palette are for natural everyday wear, but can be amped up for night. You're going to see crazy purples, blues and greens. All of these palettes are to help women highlight their eye shape and eye color with browns, pinks, neutrals and golds. 


We all have different eye shapes and eye colors, so to find out which colors work best all you have to do is take a quiz. It will then recommend your palette combination. It's only $38 for six shadows. Such a steal!


I have the fine palette and I wear it every day. It's perfect! Let me know what you think! Check out the palettes here.

2018 Prescribed Reading List


Part of my healing process has been reading words of wisdom from other people that have either gone through grief or divorce or researched it. Counseling has been great with helping me understand my emotions, but sometimes you just need more insight and something to help you continue to process your thoughts. So, most weekends and weeknights you'll find me curled up on this blue velvet couch in my favorite Natori jams reading, crying, laughing, and reading some more.


We are two weeks into our first month of 2018, and I already have five books on my list. Some wonderful women that have gone through hard things have given me books telling me emphatically, "You have to read this!" The books below have just showed up in my home whether it's someone handing them to me or mailing them to me. I've given myself the task of reading one book a month. 

  1. Rising Strong by Brene Brown
  2. Of Mess & Moxie by Jen Hatmaker
  3. Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant
  4. Second Firsts by Christina Rasmussen
  5. Tiny Beautiful Things; Advice on love and life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

I need seven more recommendations. What are some other books that you would recommend in this season of life? 

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

A Brave New World


I was married at 22 years old. Other than four years of college living in apartments with roommates, seasonal jobs and internships, I never really experienced independence. I married Ryan a year after graduating ASU, and together we divided and conquered adulthood.

We essentially grew up together, and I took a lot of the domestic responsibilities. He did a lot of the finances, yard work and home maintenance. I did the cooking, shopping, decorating, children, etc. You can guess where I'm going with this...Well, now I'm alone, single and taking care of a home and kids and a job all by myself. There's a LOT of first that comes with this new life. 


I've often thought to myself this must be how my grandmother felt when my grandfather died. Lost, confused, scared of the unknown...But the good thing is that I'm 33 and not 80. Things make more sense to me than an 80 year old woman, and I still have a lot of life left to live. So, darn it, I'm going to figure this out for myself. This is my real life DIY project. RIGHT?!

Some new things I have done since I have been single are.....(PROMISE NOT TO LAUGH)...But seriously, though...

1. Set up my own budget. I use Mint to help keep track of everything
2. Set up auto-pay on all my bills. I was really overwhelmed by this, and I was so scared I was going to miss a payment. Thank goodness for technology and auto-pay. 
3. Did a drive-thru car wash. Oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed to admit this, but I have been scared of them for a long time. For some reason I was just scared I would miss the track or do something wrong. It was so easy. I have no idea why I was scared.
4. Used a leaf blower. They are actually pretty fun.
5. Cleaned my pool and pump
6. Painted and taped a wall by myself
7. Changed the air filters
8. Set up my health insurance and benefits
9. Set up a router
10. Lit the fireplace. Almost burned my eyebrows, but I did it. Hahaha!

Cheers to many more new things! It's a great feeling conquer your fears. It's liberating and it's empowering. What's a fear you have that you would like to conquer? 

Family Room Update


With divorce comes dividing assets. A lot of the rooms that I finally completed are now incomplete once again. My family room has gone through some changes since I made it over with Home Depot. My blue velvet sofa is now my main sofa, and my animal skin rug is gone. My chairs are also gone. So, a lot of the furniture from my the formal sitting area is now my family room furniture. I kept the bleached jute rug, but I added a blue traditional rug from Natural Area rugs to layer over it. It ties the blue sofa in nicely. 


Area rugs can be a challenge, but I really like layering because it's cost effective. Jute area rugs can cover more square feet for less, and then you can splurge on a colorful traditional rug if you want. The great thing is that Natural Area Rugs have affordable prices on all kinds of rugs. No need to hold back. 


Though it has been sad to see so much change, it has also been good to slowly rebuild and make things my own. New memories in new spaces. If you are looking for affordable area rug options, definitely check out Natural Area Rugs. 


Photos by Rennai Hoefer