What I Don’t Do
So, I’m reading this book, Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist, and there is a chapter entitled, “What I Don’t Do.” Besides being laugh out loud funny, this chapter offered a wealth of wisdom to me as a professional, as a wife, as a friend, etc.
We all have those people in our lives, or even celebrities, that just look like they have it all together. Great marriages, gorgeous and polite children, a fantastic career, a beautiful home, an impeccable wardrobe and flat abs… haha. We all know perfection doesn’t exist, but I think there are women and men out there that can accomplish many things and do them well, but NOT EVERYTHING.
In the book, Shauna asks one of those all-star ladies in her life how she does it, and she responded saying it was about what she doesn’t do – what she doesn’t spend her time on because she knows herself well, and only wants to invest in the things she cares about.
So here’s my list of what I don’t do right now because I value other things more…
1. I don’t bake. Why? I like salty things over sweet, I have no self control when it comes to cupcakes and I just don’t enjoy the process of baking or even cooking for that matter. I’m sure Ryan wishes I baked desserts more because he has a sweet tooth, but I don’t. I’m okay with that too. I don’t mind buying store bought cookies AT ALL if I have to bring something to a party. That’s just me.
2. I don’t garden. In fact, I think I could have a successful career in killing plants because that’s what happens when I try to have real plants. haha. I also don’t mind having gorgeous fake orchids. They look just as cool to me. =)
3. I don’t do crafts. As creative as I am and as much as I like the idea of being able to restore furniture, create my own jewelry, sew my own curtains…I don’t. I was making hair flowers for a little while, but honestly, I just didn’t like the slow, boring process. I’m a fast paced person, and I’m okay spending my money on a cool headband and supporting someone else’s business.
4. I don’t keep up with my nails. As I sit here and type, my toes are covered in lavender toe nail polish from JUNE and my hands have a two week manicure that I have made last for FIVE weeks. Yeah…I just need to step away from the nail polish.
I know myself pretty well to confidently say that the things above will never really be a priority for me because they just aren’t a part of who I am and what I truly enjoy doing. I guess it goes back to the concept of doing a few things very well over doing many things mediocre. I am capable of doing the things above, but they just aren’t a priority for me. They could very well be for you though.
What are some things you don’t spend your time on? Making the bed? Washing your car?
10:09 AM on August 12th, 2010
“Great marriages, gorgeous and polite children, a fantastic career, a beautiful home, an impeccable wardrobe and flat abs…”
Ah heck – until I got to the flat abs part I totally thought you were talking about me
Not.
Loved this post. Great idea. If we all dropped that need to appear perfect and let it all hang out (well – except for my not -flat abs – that wouldn’t be pretty) we’d all feel a whole lot better.
J.
11:12 AM on August 12th, 2010
haha! you crack me up, jeanette!
11:47 AM on August 12th, 2010
what a interesting way to think of things! (and i got you covered for #1 and #3, sister! haha)
i’m not sure about me, i think of things a little differently where i have a list of things i would love to learn more about like sewing, gardening, photoshop, etc. not because i want to be perfect at everything but just because they genuinely interest me. i don’t really feel pressure from the things i consider hobbies, and if i don’t care about something like making the bed, then so be it! i consider myself a lifelong learner and i just really like discovering new things all the time. and i definitely try to embrace the mantra of not sweating the small stuff (bigger stuff like claire’s seizures is enough to worry about!)
i think more of my “perfection” problem comes from body image over everything else. and there is no way of getting around that one unless i actually do something about it. guess my newest hobby will have to be exercise- now there is something i don’t want to spend my time on! ha!!
11:55 AM on August 12th, 2010
haha! thanks for covering me on those things. yeah, i think sometimes i can beat myself up over not being a an amazing chef, baking the tastiest treats, being super crafty because many women in my circle do those things. the lesson learned for me was that i don’t do those things because they don’t interest me and in my heart of hearts i don’t value them enough to spend my time on them…therefore, i shouldn’t beat myself up about it. ya know?
12:44 PM on August 12th, 2010
I am reading this book right now too and love it! I have been mentally putting together my list of things I don’t do. Blog post coming! But…here’s a few off the top of my head:
I don’t make my bed. Never have, never will.
I don’t do crafts either. I know I’m creative because I’m made in the image of the Creator…blah blah…but I don’t consider myself creative. I’m ok with that.
I don’t decorate my house. I want to. I know what I like when I see it. I would just prefer to spend my time and money elsewhere. I only want to do it because I don’t want my “perfect” friends to judge me if they see my house with nothing but brown paint on every single wall and absolutely nothing hanging on any of those walls…
There’s a good start…
12:47 PM on August 12th, 2010
That’s a great start! Don’t you just love the book?! I’ll keep my eyes peeled for your post.
4:26 PM on August 12th, 2010
Alex, I love this post! I may even post about it in my blog because you are so right. We feel like we should so many things because society says to and of course every one else does but there just isn’t time or the desire to do it.
For instance, I don’t ever want people in my room because I never keep my shoes organized, my bed made, or my make up put away. My bedroom is just such a lived in room.
I don’t play any sports. I am NOT an athletic person and to save my life I never could be nor do I have any desire to do so.
I don’t sew, not a thing. A button is challenging for me. I can’t stitch, crochet, knit, use a sewing machine, make a quilt, and I can barely thread a needle. I’m okay with this.
Great post
6:44 PM on August 12th, 2010
I completely relate on the sports thing. I like the idea of being an all-star athlete and keeping up with boys, but I’m not. Never will be. Blog it, girl!
4:01 PM on August 16th, 2010
I adore and can relate to this post SO much. Thank you for sharing. I think my next stop is amazon to purchase that book right NOW.
Also, I hope all is well in your corner of the world. I love swinging by your blog every now and again. You are just bursting at the seams with inspiration and talent.
xo
9:42 AM on August 17th, 2010
Thanks, Maile! You’re the best!
11:07 AM on August 17th, 2010
Glammy and I are going to read this together. We have started a Book Club.
11:11 AM on August 17th, 2010
That’s awesome. I was talking to her about it on the phone the other day. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.