I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately in regards to AVE Styles. If you read the Desert Rendezvous post you probably could deduce that. I value honesty and transparency, and when people take off their masks usually the best conversations come about. So, in light of that truth I'd like to be honest with you. Being known is something that has always driven me since I was a kid. The desire for someone to notice me. I think it drives a lot of us, actually. I suppose that's why social media is so successful. In my heart I know, however, that the desire to be known is a greater and deeper longing that can never be satisfied by success in the fashion industry or even marriage and motherhood. And yet time and time again I find myself down in the dumps because the numbers aren't what I want them to be or that my project didn't get published or someone didn't pick me to be a part of a collaboration...blah blah blah.
Here's a quote I read from this amazing book about radical stories of love. "I've learned that God sometimes allows us to find ourselves in a place where we want something so bad we can't see past it. Sometimes we can't even see God because of it. When we want something that bad, it's easy to mistake what we truly need for the thing we really want." - Bob Goff, Love Does
When I start to think what I really want vs what I really need it puts things in perspective. What I really need is purpose in this life, and I know that it's only found in God. Everything that I do (wife, mom, stylist, friend, daughter...) is all for a greater purpose. And sadly, what I have been wanting is just recognition. If you're wrestling with the same thing, let me pose a question. What if you get the recognition you dream of? Then what happens? I promise you that you'll only want more and it will never satisfy. Pinky promise. Seriously, you'd think almost a million followers on Pinterest would be enough wouldn't you.
It's a daily battle, but I know that I will win the war with God's help.
Photos by Jasmine Star