A SEASON OF SOLITUDE

2016 has been a year of solitude for me. It hasn't been by choice, but rather uncontrollable circumstances of illness, the ups and downs of taking care of a baby, as well as living in a new area. And even with some family nearby and seeing one or two friends weekly, emotionally I have felt somewhat alone too. And before you feel bad or sad for me, you should know that I'm writing this blog post to tell you that I believe it was the single biggest contributor to the "success" and growth of my business and myself this year. 

In fact, the original title of this blog post was going to be something along the lines of don't #findyourtribe, #beanomad. Haha! More thoughts below, but in all seriousness, all of the #FOMO (fear of missing out) that I initially experienced when we made the move from Central Phoenix to Chandler has dissipated to the point that I can see my solitude as a gift and a healing time for me.

Why? Well, all of my energy that used to be spent in other ways was channeled into "survival" mode where I was focusing on myself, my marriage, my kids and my business, and less on friendships and business relationships. And, honestly, that's what my priorities should always be. This year I realized that I had my priorities a bit backwards, especially when it came to using my time wisely for my business. As an operating extrovert and a regular face among the creative community and blogging community in the Phoenix area, I used to spend a lot of time on collaborations, meet ups and networking events. They weren't bad ways to spend my time, but weren't and will never be the core of what can fulfill me personally and grow my business.

My circumstances of having to be home a lot to care for a sick baby made me put my head down and work my ass off on my blog and on my craft as a stylist inside the confines of my house with the small bit of work time I had. And the rest of the time was spent on being a better mother, wife and figuring out what self-care looks like for me in times of stress. Hands down, I would say I have created some of the best imagery of my career, designed amazing spaces for my family and healed a lot of pain in my heart. And on paper, well, my revenue is at a record high, and I've had the most brand partnerships to date. I would also say that the personal growth in me and the self-discovery is truly reflected in my art, and, at the same time, my art has been a healing and freeing outlet for my mind when I needed to escape some of the trying moments of motherhood.

I say all of this on a public space like my blog because I love transparency and encouraging people through my own experiences, as well as to challenge any #fomo you may be experiencing. 

I keep seeing more and more "creative meet-ups," "creative collectives" and people urging others to "#findyourtribe," and a part of me cringes when I see it. Not because they are bad, but because they often become pretty distractions for us. Sometimes the longing of belonging gets the best of us, and we forget that solitude can sometimes be what we need. 

And, truthfully, if you want to help your creative community grow and lead it you have to lead by example and be a master at your own craft first. It has taken me 7 years to realize this, but I get it now. I have to keep my skills sharp so that I can help my community and help those I'm in relationship with. My contribution will be much more powerful if I maintain my expertise in my craft and share that knowledge with others here and there rather than always saying yes to the next party. 

In 2017, I hope that the sickness in my family subsides, and that I can get back out and be more in relationship with others, but I'm going into this year feeling comfortable saying "no" more, investing in a few strong friendships and knowing what is most life-giving to myself and others.

So, if you are currently in a season of solitude, loneliness or you are given a season like this in 2017, this may be your best year yet. Just you wait and see!

Photo by Rennai Hoefer

LIGHT UP UGLY SWEATER

This post is sponsored by Savers.

Ugly sweater parties are the best because you don't have to worry about being in style. In fact, it's quite the opposite. The more out-of-date, the uglier your outfit is the better it is. It's as if fashion didn't exist at all - it's like Christmas and Halloween combined. A couple of months ago, I partnered with Savers to create some cool Halloween looks, so naturally, I've teamed up again with them to bring you a light up ugly sweater.

You can find all sorts of things at Savers for the holidays. Christmas ornaments, lights, tinsel and definitely a lot of sweaters that make for a great ugly sweater start.

My intern, Lauren, selected this chenille, red sweater with a zipper for me. I think my mom had something like this in the 90s. It was the perfect foundation for my light up sweater. All you need to create this sweater is a battery operated light strand, a hot glue fun and some colored pom-poms.

Position your lights first to see where you want them to go. Then squirt your glue underneath each spot and lay your lights on top. I put the lights on the back not only because I wouldn't be able to get my sweater on with the cables across the front, but because the battery pack could easily fit in my pocket that way.

I don't know if you can tell, but the sweater says "joy" in cursive. Haha, but either way it sure looks cheery with flashing lights. It's definitely a hit with the kids to say the least. Be sure to visit Savers for all of your last minute Christmas needs from decorations to ugly sweaters!

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

A ONE STOP AMAZING SHOP

This post is sponsored by Bed, Bath & Beyond.

The holiday season is always a bit nutty starting with Halloween through New Year's Day, but this year feels beyond nutty. We're talking a hurricane of madness where most plans have fallen through due to sickness and work deadlines. Throw in birthdays, hosting guests and doctor visits and you can find me with the door closed practicing deep breathing. So, leisurely shopping for Christmas gifts around town as I sip a latte is but a dream. In reality, I need one stop, amazing shopping to tackle Christmas, and that's why all of our gifts for our family are from Bed, Bath & Beyond this year. They have something for everyone including our golden-doodle, Wendy. I guess you can say I've sleighed the holidays, well, at least Christmas gifts.

You have to see what I found. I even bought myself the best gift of all...(a gift that keeps on giving, of course). And, we opened up our gifts early this year, so that I could share why we love them.

ELLE: Ice Cream Maker / $19.99 - This isn't a traditional gift for kids, but it really should be. Elle's favorite food is ice cream and she loves to bake with me. This ice cream maker does all of the work for you. You just add your ingredients, and then theres a little slot to add in any mix-ins. So, this is something that your kids starting at 4 years old can pretty much do themselves with a bit of assistance measuring. It has a little storage bowl inside the machine that you can pop out and place in the freezer for easy storing. To complete the gift, you can buy a kid's apron and chef hat.

LEVI: Vtech Smart Wheels Treasure Mountain Train Set / $49.99 - Levi is really into trucks, cars and anything he can roll across the floor. This Treasure Mountain Smart train set takes things with wheels to a whole new level. It comes with a battery operated train that goes its own. The set comes with balls that he can plop through different parts of the mine onto the train. It's SO cool! Elle actually loves it just as much as Levi and she is 4. It has really is a gift they can share.

RYAN: Top Shelf Bevel 3-Piece Whiskey Set / $89.99 - Ryan is a whiskey man. We started a bar set when we were first married with a shaker, ice bucket, etc., but he didn't have a decanter for whiskey or old fashioned glasses. I thought this would be the perfect, sophisticated way to grow his tools. The beveled glass makes for a beautiful display too. We look forward to doing some holiday entertaining in the coming days, and this is perfect for it.

WENDY: Pawslife Orthopedic Step-in Dog Bed/ $59.99 - Truthfully, Wendy has not received a Christmas gift since the kids were born (yikes). Not even a special bone (oops). She is seven years old, and the dog bed we first got her is just as old, but ragged and worn out. This year we got her a new bed that is more cozy than the first. And, even though I don't like to think about Wendy getting older, I know that one day she will, and this bed will make it easier for her to get up and out of it.

ME: Nespresso Maker Bundle / $187.49 - Though this may be the most expensive gift on the list I must tell you this is a gift for the WHOLE family. Okay, more so me and Ryan, but good coffee is truly the gift that keeps on giving because I then have energy to get through my day with a smile on my face vs. a frown. Plus, we have a bit of a bad habit of frequenting coffee shops regularly, and we're really trying not to do that. Since using this Nespresso and automatic frother I haven't even thought about going to Starbucks in the past five days. It's that good, and it's going to save us money in the long run.

I also got myself this "Awesome" mug to help start my day on the right foot.

Photos by Rennai Hoefer; this post contains affiliate links. 

LIPTASTIC

I have been wearing two lip colors all fall and winter long. If you follow me on IG Stories or Snap (@avestyles) you probably have seen this nude lip I'm wearing, and many have asked about it. I figured it was time for a blog post so you can see them up close.

Aveda has time and time again been a brand I go back to because their products are natural, quality and smell amazing. Many of us have probably tried their hair or skincare products, but if you haven't tried their makeup line you should. My favorite nude shade is called "sheer primrose" and it's a moisturizing formula that also appears somewhat matte. You can add their noursh-mint lip gloss for shine if you want too. It's minty and refreshing, and gives a high gloss appearance.

My favorite dark, berry shade is "carnelian." It packs a punch, and is an accessory in itself. It tends to show a bit more shine than the nude one. It's moisturizing and doesn't flake or cake.

I don't even a use a liner with it. I just go for it and add some gloss later if I want.

It's the only red you'll need for the holidays, and it's one you'll be wearing long after.

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

SPARKLE WISH LIST

This post is sponsored by Shane Co.

I would by lying if I said that I didn't find myself entertaining the occasional dream of opening a mysterious small box tied with a bow on Christmas from time to time. Maybe it's because I've watched too many Christmas movies or maybe it's because "Santa Baby" has been playing on repeat in our house (Elle's Christmas recital song), but the hopeless romantic in me (and pretty much every woman I know) sure would love it. And then, at the same time, I would feel so guilty if Ryan had spent tons of money on jewels and I just got him a pair of shoes. But, Shane Co. has the best of both worlds - quality, sparkly diamonds at great prices, so there's no guilt and only pleasure. I'm sharing my personal favorites from their Toy Land Collection. Maybe between us all someone will get a mysterious little box this year. (wink, wink).

1. Diamond Crescent Moon Necklace - I've always been a minimalist when it has come to jewelry. This white gold necklace with diamonds is completely on trend and timeless all at once.

2. Triangle layered necklace - This white gold necklace gives the look of two, but is actually just one. I loooove how functional it is and that I can wear it with many things. It worked perfectly as I layered it with the diamond crescent moon.

3. Diamond Bar Earrings - These earrings are simple and modern all at once. You can dress them up or down, and wear them for years to come.

4. Diamond tennis bracelet - Sipping cocktails, hot cocoa or eggnog will look so glamorous with a diamond bracelet no doubt. This one is small and simple, and can easily be layered.

5. Infinity Bracelet - This infinity bracelet is beautiful, but has more femininity with its curves. It also has the meaning of infinite love, which would be very appropriate for married women or moms.

6. Stackable rings - Statement rings are slowly fading and simple stackable rings are taking their place. I stacked a diamond band, white gold band, and a garnet ring together for the holidays. You can do other colors like emerald or sapphire too.

For more affordable and quality gifts that sparkle and shine, be sure to visit Shane Co. online or in your city (see here for locations).

Photos by Rennai Hoefer